It’s been a tough year for celebs thus far in 2009 and it’s only half-way over. I’d like to believe things couldn’t get much worse than what we’ve seen in June, but strange has a way of following the rich and famous. At least this is the last day of the month. Maybe, just maybe, we can escape the day without another big name dropping.
I’m bored, so I’m going to mix things up here at ITI. It’s time to compare the recent spate of celebs who have kicked the bucket to some of our favorite NFL personalities. Which players or coaches or owners size up to the career paths of these deceased icons? Let’s take a look.
Join me after the jump (continue) for an episode of match game.
The Fallen Idol – Michael Jackson and Michael Vick
Geesh. Have two guys who had the world as their oyster fallen faster or harder? Jackson went from the most famous pop star since Elvis to a freakish recluse enveloped in rumors about pedophilia. Vick was the future of quarterbacking, an athlete of unparalleled skill. Now, he’s a pariah and the face of illegal dog fighting throughout the world.
The Fading Starlet – Farrah Fawcett and Brett Favre
I had a poster of Farrah on my wall when I was a teen. She was considered one of the world’s most beautiful women in the ’70s and ’80s. Unfortunately, age and disease made her a shadow of her former self at the end. Favre was the quarterback every kid idolized during the ’90s. A gunslinger with a winning smile and quaint southern drawl. Today, he’s become a punchline as he desperately clings to the remnants of his once golden arm.
The Ultimate Salesman – Billy Mays and Jerry Jones
Mays lived and worked with unbridled enthusiasm and positivity. He was a salesman’s salesman. Give him a box of turds and he’d move a million units. Jones too can sell just about anything, including the acquisition of locker room destroyers like TO and malcontents with a record like Pacman. He’s also been able to convince fans and the media that the Cowboys are still relevant despite having not won a playoff game since 1996.
The Sidekick – Ed McMahon and Darren Sproles
McMahon was best known as being Johnny Carson’s straight man for thirty years. He was reliable, loyal and always came through when called upon. Ed didn’t complain; he just did his job. Sproles has had to sit behind the likes of Michael Turner and LT during his four years in San Diego. He runs, catches and returns kicks without a peep. Will he ever be allowed to be the man? If not, he’ll keep his crown as King of the Sidekicks.
The Wise Loner – David Carradine and Bill Belichick
Carradine played a Shaolin monk in Kung Fu and and a cold-blooded assassin in the Kill Bill flicks. Talk about opposite ends of the spectrum. The dude always seemed to be clouded in mystery, even in death. Belichick is part zen master, part mad scientist. Monosyllabic and irritable, Belichick could have easily been a monk or a killer instead of a head coach.
The Laughing Fatman – Dom DeLuise and Rex Ryan
I don’t think I ever saw Dom without a smile on his face. Whether yucking it up in Blazing Saddles or trading barbs with Burt Reynolds, DeLuise played the roly-poly funny man perfectly. I’m not sure why Rex Ryan seems so jocular. He’s coaching the Jets, right? I’ll give Rex credit for having his old man’s sense of humor. He’ll need it in the Big Apple spotlight.
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