Five Current Sports Stories I Don’t Give a @#%& About

I’m often amazed at the types of stories that catch fire these days. Especially, in the world of sports. I realize the sports news cycle is in perpetual motion and every writer, journalist, blogger, reporter and anchor feels compelled to comment ad nauseam for fear their opinion won’t be heard. Hey, I’m guilty of jumping on the hot story bandwagon too. We all have pages to fill, but right now, none of the major headlines are drawing my interest.

In particular, these five:

5) Manny Ramirez’s return from a 50 game suspension – I don’t care if fans are booing Manny or cheering him. It’s Manny being Manny. He’s one of the most polarizing athletes in recent memory. He’s hated and adored by millions alike. C’mon, the guy once refused to enter a game because it was his day off. He climbed into the Green Monster to make a phone call during a pitching change. What’s left to say?

4) Roger Goodell and Jim Mora, Jr. climbing Mt. Rainier – I’m sure this modern day Lewis and Clark had a damn good reason to scale a towering volcano other than raising money for charity. Hmmm… I wonder what it could be? Solve the mystery of the Abominable Snowman? Find the final resting place of the Ark of the Covenant? Meet the aliens responsible for constructing the Great Pyramids? Or the proverbial “because it was there” reason. Sorry, non-story.

3) Lance Armstrong rides in the Tour de France again – Listen, I’m pro Lance. I’m on team Lance. I would vote for Lance. But enough is enough, champ. If he wins, great. He’s frakkin’ Lance Armstrong. Even at 37, will anyone really be shocked? If he loses, so what. He’s been off the bike four years. He may be super-human, but he ain’t Superman. Or is he?

2) Nike confiscating footage of LeBron getting dunked on – I don’t watch the NBA as much as I used to, but I seem to recall at least one player dunking on King James during the last few years. So, I assume people are up in arms not about the dunking, but rather that Big Brother Nike went all Warren Commission on the lowly photogs at LeBron’s Skills Academy. Uh… okay… I get it… sort of. This is Nike, right? The same company that employs ten-year-old Asian kids for pennies a day to weave together $200 sneakers. The same company that holds a virtual monopoly on sporting apparel. Even if LeBron ordered them to take the footage, what’s the big deal? Doesn’t everyone know by now that he’s a dick?

1) The Steve McNair chronicles – Didn’t know Steve McNair. Never met the dude. Watched him ball for ten plus years. Thought he was a pretty good quarterback. Death is death. No matter the circumstances, no matter how tragic. He’s still gone. Sorry, but my true friends and real family are important to me. Not some pro athlete I watch on television. If he was an Eagle, would I care? Yes. But I would write one short goodbye and be done with it. I wouldn’t speculate and I sure as hell wouldn’t drag it out for days on end. If you want to pay tribute to McNair, let him rest.

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