Cornelius Ingram Needs a Nickname

I mentioned in passing yesterday that Cornelius Ingram would need an alternate handle if he continues to light up Training Camp ’09. Well, I might be jumping the gun a bit, especially considering the pads haven’t been strapped on yet, but I’m of the belief Ingram is the real deal.

Now that all the pesky formalities are out of the way, let’s crank up the nickname machine for the Iggles newest tight end. Here are five possibilities:

5 – The Combine

Too easy. “Corn”elius “The Combine” Ingram does nothin’ but shred when he hits the field. Get John Deere involved as a sponsor and Cornelius won’t have to purchase another lawn mower for the rest of his days. I kinda like it.

4 – Twice-Told

Okay, I got some ‘splainin’ to do. Ingram was born in Hawthorne, Florida. Nathaniel Hawthorne is one of America’s finest authors. The title of his famous book of short stories was Twice-Told Tales. Ingram’s end zone celebration can be him sshhing the crowd, opening a pretend book, and reading.

3 – The Thinker

Have you seen the dude without his shirt on? To put it mildly, he is effin cut! If Rodin’s renowned statue The Thinker wasn’t 107 years old, I would have thought Ingram modeled for it. After he catches a McNabb bullet for six, “The Thinker” will take a knee and contemplate his achievement.

2 – Code Red

We can all agree the Birds require a legit red zone target. Ingram may be the answer. So, every time the offense enters the red zone, Merrill Reese will turn to Mike Quick and say, “Mike, the Eagles need to make a phone call.” Mike will reply, “You’re right Merrill. It’s time to call “Code Red.” Mountain Dew will be all over this one.

1 – The Dictator

Class, I’d like you to open your history books to page 288. Today, we will be discussing the Roman dictator Publius Cornelius Rufinus, who ruled with an iron fist in 333 BC. Cornelius “The Dictator” Ingram rules between the hashes and shows no mercy to defensive backfields.

Got any others Eagles Nation? Don’t be shy. Hit me up in the comments.

Don’t miss your daily fix of Eagles news. Subscribe to ITI by clicking here.