10 People With Bigger Egos Than Brett Favre

Brett Favre engineered yet another successful summer coup d’etat on the NFL. Did anyone really believe he was not going to play in 2009? If you did, I applaud your innocence, while simultaneously condemning your ignorance. Right now, Lord Favre may seem like the biggest egomaniac in the land. Here are ten people who crush Brett in the self-love department.

10 – Paris Hilton

This daffy bitch actually believes her excrement doesn’t emit a foul odor. Hell, maybe it doesn’t. I’ve never had the pleasure of entering a bathroom after she exited.

9 – Bernie Madoff

All this jackass did was thumb his nose at thousands of investors while bilking them out of billions of dollars. On top of being a high-rise-sized liar, he also cheated on his wife. What a guy.

8 – Perez Hilton

If you proudly name yourself after a fellow egomaniac, then what does that make you? This douchebag firmly believes he can scat all over celebs without repercussion. Here’s some advice, Perez: If you don’t want to get punched in the face by the people you lampoon, don’t attend the same parties they do.

7 – O.J. Simpson

When almost all of society assumes you got away with murder, writing a book titled If I Did It probably won’t do much to clear your name. And having the stones to think you can stage an armed robbery with zero penalty seems a bit smug.

6 – Howard Stern

God’s gift to all things radio labeled himself “The King of All Media.” All media, Howie? I think dudes like Rupert Murdoch and Robert Iger might disagree.

5 – Alex Rodriguez

Cheat on his wife — check. Use steroids – check. Take a dump in October every year – check. I’m convinced this guy’s poopy smells like lilacs. He gets away with everything and just keeps flashing those pearly whites.

4 – Mark Cuban

I’ll give him credit for parlaying an internet start-up into a billion-dollar empire. But that’s the problem. In Mark’s eyes, he can do no wrong. This includes pitching childlike temper tantrums whenever Dirk Nowitzki gets called for a charge.

3 – Terrell Owens

When it comes to holding NFL teams hostage, Favre’s got nuthin’ on the original Mr. Me. T.O. has never made a mistake. He has never been at fault. In his warped mind, he is the solution, not the problem.

2 – Bill O’Reilly

O’Reilly positions himself as the voice of the people. In fact, he’s the voice of himself. I defy you to present someone who loves hearing themselves talk as much as Billy boy.

1 – Donald Trump

Most guys with a dead muskrat stapled to their head would show a little humility. Not the Donald. Rather than just produce his own reality television series, he decided to cast himself in the lead role. Trump is the walking definition of pompous.