I don’t break many stories here at ITI, but my spies have gotten their grubby little paws on a recording of the behind closed doors meeting that occurred yesterday between Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb.

The duo had plenty to discuss, including where the team stands at the midway point of the season. Here’s the transcript:

Reid: Alright Don, we’ll have to make this quick. I’ve got a call into the Lions. Trying to swing a deal for Dexter Wynn.

McNabb: Dexter who?

Reid: Wynn… we drafted him a few years ago. Sucked as a cornerback and sucked even more as a return man, but the pickings are slim.

McNabb: Why not have Vick return kicks?

Reid: Are you insane? I got big plans for Michael. You wait and see.

McNabb: There are only eight games left. What the hell are you waiting for?

Reid: It starts with me. I need to do a better job of –

McNabb: Who do you think you’re talking to Red, Les Bowen? This ain’t your weekly presser.

Reid: Sorry 5, forgot where I was. You’re right, Vick is useless. Although, he looked decent in the two games you missed.

McNabb: We’ve covered this already. I can’t have him shuffling in and out of the lineup. It will throw off my rhythm.

Reid (under his breath:) Kolb didn’t have a problem with it…

McNabb: What was that?

Reid: Nuthin!

McNabb: So, do we start our three game win streak this week, or tank one more on the left coast?

Reid: Hmm… I’m thinking we wait another week. We’ll be completely written off then. A 5-4 record will drive the fans bonkers.

McNabb: That means we’ll have to win in Chicago after they have ten days off.

Reid: Perfect. No one will expect that. We’re 0-7 on Sunday nighters.  We’ll look like geniuses when we blow them out 30-10.

McNabb: You know, I’m from Chicago.

Reid: Yeah, yeah, I know. You’ll be going home, blah, blah. Who gives a poop?

McNabb: Touchy, touchy…

Reid: Hey, it’s been a rough week. Flop against the Cowgirls, lose two cornerbacks, find crack in my kid’s car. I need a vacation.

McNabb: What was that about your kid?

Reid: Never mind. Pretend you didn’t hear that.

McNabb: I’m a company man. You can count on me.

Reid: Good. Now, how are we gonna lose to the Chargers? With our depleted secondary, we should have no trouble giving up four touchdowns to Rivers.

McNabb: Good ol’ fashioned shootout, eh?

Reid: Exactly. We’ll make it look good, another close loss. The dumb media will take the bait. The fans will call for my head and demand you be traded.

McNabb: Sounds like fun. I’ll float a me for Julius Peppers rumor to my pals at ESPN. They’ll love it.

Reid: Excellent. I could go for a giant bowl of ice cream right about now.

McNabb: Cool. I’m buyin’.

Phone rings. Reid picks it up.

Reid: Yello… what? You gotta be kidding me… how the hell did he manage to do that? Uh, huh… yeah… I see… unbelievable. Alright, I’ll be right there.

Reid slams the phone down.

McNabb: What’s wrong?

Reid: Westbrook fell off a Segway at the King of Prussia Mall and sprained his ankle.

McNabb: The bad ankle?

Reid: Oh, yeah! I’ll have to take a rain check on the ice cream.

McNabb: No biggie. I have to go work on overthrowing open receivers, anyway.

Reid: We’ll talk tomorrow.

McNabb: Later.

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