Ten Things I Hate About the Cowboys

If you’re a true Eagles fan, then you are predisposed to hate the Dallas Cowboys. All those Super Bowl rings and the “America’s Team” label are enough to make our green blood boil. Of course there are many more things to loathe about the Cowboys.

With that in mind, I figured I’d climb into my flame retardant suit and roll out ten things I personally can’t stomach about the Birds’ biggest rival. Here it goes:

10 – Hearing about Tony Romo’s dating life – I don’t give a shit if Romo is banging a one-legged bearded lady or a supermodel with genital herpes. Enough already!

9 – No more TO – Not being able to enjoy Terrell Owens knifing players and coaches in the back really sucks. Hopefully, they’ll bring him back next year.

8 – Miles Austin’s horse-like features – I dunno whether to bet on him in the Kentucky Derby or feed him some oats ‘n hay.

7 – Jerry Jones pacing the sideline – Just stay in your air-conditioned luxury box, Leatherface. Ya know, like every other owner does.

6 – The sense of entitlement – When you haven’t accomplished a damn thing in 14 years, you are not deserving of anyone’s praise.

5 – Wade Phillips’ goofy smile – Nothing irks me more than when the ‘Boys score and the cameras cut to son of Bum’s stroke face. He reminds me of Cartman from South Park.

4 – The bandwagon fans – You know who you are. They guys and gals who up until this week, haven’t declared themselves “Cowboys fans” since 2007, or even worse, 1995.

3 – Mike Jenkins – The kid can play, but like a lot of other young bucks in the NFL, he reeks of arrogance. Kinda like Michael Irvin back in the day. Speaking of…

2 – Michael Irvin – He just won’t go away. His association with the ‘Boys still causes me to grind my teeth whenever I see his mug on TV.

1 – Their fu**ing stadium – The whole monstrosity makes me think Jerry is overcompensating for other shortcomings.

Let the flame-throwing commence!

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