Ten Things I Hate About the Cowboys

If you’re a true Eagles fan, then you are predisposed to hate the Dallas Cowboys. All those Super Bowl rings and the “America’s Team” label are enough to make our green blood boil. Of course there are many more things to loathe about the Cowboys.

With that in mind, I figured I’d climb into my flame retardant suit and roll out ten things I personally can’t stomach about the Birds’ biggest rival. Here it goes:

10 – Hearing about Tony Romo’s dating life – I don’t give a shit if Romo is banging a one-legged bearded lady or a supermodel with genital herpes. Enough already!

9 – No more TO – Not being able to enjoy Terrell Owens knifing players and coaches in the back really sucks. Hopefully, they’ll bring him back next year.

8 – Miles Austin’s horse-like features – I dunno whether to bet on him in the Kentucky Derby or feed him some oats ‘n hay.

7 – Jerry Jones pacing the sideline – Just stay in your air-conditioned luxury box, Leatherface. Ya know, like every other owner does.

6 – The sense of entitlement – When you haven’t accomplished a damn thing in 14 years, you are not deserving of anyone’s praise.

5 – Wade Phillips’ goofy smile – Nothing irks me more than when the ‘Boys score and the cameras cut to son of Bum’s stroke face. He reminds me of Cartman from South Park.

4 – The bandwagon fans – You know who you are. They guys and gals who up until this week, haven’t declared themselves “Cowboys fans” since 2007, or even worse, 1995.

3 – Mike Jenkins – The kid can play, but like a lot of other young bucks in the NFL, he reeks of arrogance. Kinda like Michael Irvin back in the day. Speaking of…

2 – Michael Irvin – He just won’t go away. His association with the ‘Boys still causes me to grind my teeth whenever I see his mug on TV.

1 – Their fu**ing stadium – The whole monstrosity makes me think Jerry is overcompensating for other shortcomings.

Let the flame-throwing commence!

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  • Ric

    DCN-Yep. It is one of the things I like about the current cowboys. No doubt there is some Bling and ego stuff, but a lot of it left the team last year. And, honestly, I do not hear of an overwhelming amount of it in the Eagles. McNabb, of whom I have read little, has stood out in a few games for his gamesmanship. I know this year against Chicago for example(with Cutler having a terrible day) Mcnabb went to Cutler to back him up psychologically if you will. That was Class I thought.

  • Ric

    Well, guess I will have to go to DCN so philly can have its blog back.

  • http://dallascowboysnation.com Dallas Cowboys Nation

    I’ve always thought highly of McNabb, and that whole deal last year (I think it was) when he was benched only helped it along for me. He handled that with a lot of class. But the Eagles have been one hell of a team to contend with in the last decade, second only to the Patriots in my eyes.

  • David Williams

    Eugene – I’m going to go down the dumb road with you on the America’s team. In the 1960′s there was this QB that went to the Naval Academy and was a very successful QB for them. He was drafted by he Dallas Cowboys, of which he went to serve out his time in the Navy. Upon completing his time with the Navy he then became the QB of the Dallas Cowboy’s. After becoming a Super Star of the NFL he lead the team to great success and upon that the Dallas Cowboys were dubbed America’s Team hence the connection to the Military. If you don’t know the QB I’m talking of then look it up. Nick names stick and that is how they became America’s Team, as the Vikings became the Purple People Eaters.

    Jake – If you have a question about how is Witten a Pro Bowler when Celic is not. Ask yourself why is DeSean Jackson a starting Pro Bowler for WR. He has less catches, less TD’s, Less yardage and was a starter for more games this year than Austin yet he is the starter. in fact after week 16 Austin was the 5th overall WR with stats and Jackson was the 11th, and after week 17 we known those numbers didn’t get better for Jackson.

  • Ric

    DCN- if you are still there I’d like to go on record as saying that is one thing I really like about Wade. His character is better than many coaches we have had for years.

  • http://dallascowboysnation.com Dallas Cowboys Nation

    Yeah, Wade is a person of high character and integrity, even though he comes off as a little too square a little too much. I type this as I listen to Jimmy Johnson talking about Buddy Ryan getting his “big, fat, rear-end into the dressing room.” Certainly a contrast there.

    It bugs me how all the focus has shifted from Romo’s December slump and the Cowboys late season woes to Wade Phillips in a must-win situation to keep his job. It’s nonsense.

    Phillips has been a great coach for us, and the coaching unit as a whole is getting better all the time. Garrett frustrates me with his slow adjustments at times, but Wade sets a great example for his team.

  • http://dallascowboysnation.com Dallas Cowboys Nation

    Oh and you’re welcome, Ric, to come over to DCN. I love debating football and this matchup presents some damn good arguments to be made. So anytime friend.

  • Jake


    DeSean: 63 rec, 1,167 yards, 18.5 ypc, 9 TD, 1 rush TD
    Austin: 81 rec, 1,320 yards, 16.3 ypc, 11 TD

    Miles Austin got the ball thrown to him 18 more times, and complied 153 more yards than DeSean. Do you know what DeSean Jackson does with 18 completions? According to his ypc: 333 yards, and about 2.5 TDs. Not to mention that DeSean had one rushing TD on 11 attempts, and returned 2 punts for touchdowns. Thats a total of 12 TD.

    DeSean Jackson was game planned upon and doubled by every team since week 1. When did teams start to double Austin? Coulden’t have been until after week 6.

    Now ask yourself, who is the better wide out, kick returner, and better overall player?

  • http://dallascowboysnation.com Dallas Cowboys Nation


    You just made the case for Austin. He got 12 games of 16 played this year by Jackson, yet his numbers are better.

    If you break it down by averages and factor in the missing four games from Austin, his season should have been more like so:

    Austin: 108 rec, 1,760 yards, 16.3 ypc, 15 TD

    That’s solely off his averages as they are now, they could’ve changed. And Austin didn’t get the ball thrown to him 18 more times, he caught 18 more passes. There’s a difference.

    According to Stats Inc. Austin was targeted 6 more times than Jackson, and caught 65.3 percent compared to Jackson who caught 53.4 percent.

    Who played better?

  • Drewski

    Please tell me why there is Cowboy fans in this forum at all? The title is 10 things the author Hates about the Cowboys! I say the author should add a number 0 and state that he hates Cowboys fans that polute Eagles blogs!

  • Drewski

    Although I guess the author would have to change the title to 11 things he hates about the Cowboys.

  • Pingback: 10 cosas que hay que odiar de los Vaqueros de Dallas

  • cowboys_fan

    @ Drewski

    for starters, this blog was linked to by Sports Illustrated. Likely because it is about the cowboys.

    also, because it is about the cowboys, fans of the cowboys have every right in the world to come here and respond.

    I take it that, you only like to go places where people can sit around and agree with each other. Where is the fun in that? And I hate to break it to you, but pollution is caused by fans of all teams. But thank you for adding zero to this conversation (aside for further pollution)

  • Jake


    First of all, both Austin and Jackson missed 1 game. I’m not sure what you’re referring to with Austin only playing in 12 games, they both played in 15. My point was that defenses entire game plans were based around limiting DeSean since the beginning of the season. The same cannot be said about Miles Austin, who put together a hell of a season, but roamed free for 5 games.

    Also, you completely ignored Jackson’s other 3 TD’s. While 2 were on special teams, whatever, not only is he the one of the best receivers in the league, but he’s also THE best return man.

  • cowboys_fan

    both Jackson and Austin are great recievers in the NFL. They have both been wildly successful. A conversation about who is better, is more akin to defending your favorite flavor of ice cream. To each their own, both of them have amazing talents and should have successful careers in the NFL

  • cowboys_fan

    by the way.. its a fact, rocky road ice cream is delicious.


  • Eugene Markman

    David Williams –

    I’ll have to Google Map this dumb road that you’re so familiar with. I know who you’re talking about. What’s he got to do with this? From the limited research I did, the ‘Boys were dubbed America’s Team because Bob Ryan, current Vice President of NFL Films, was working on something regarding the Cowboys. He noticed that there were a decent amount of Cowboy fans at away games, thus dubbing the team America’s Team. Sure Staubach’s success led them to popularity, but his naval connection was not the factor.

  • A Texan

    “We can always take solace in that if we don’t win a superbowl, at least we’d kick other teams fans asses in a fight. where are the trophy’s for that?”

    Take solace in whatever you want, but no one, and I mean no one, especially not someone from Philadelphia, could ever in his wildest imagination take a Texan in a fight – fan or no fan.

  • Jake

    Hahaha, and by fight, do you mean run our country into the ground over the course of 8 years? Perhaps a certain number one fan of America’s Team could do such a thing.

    And by the way, I’d take B-Hop over any Texan.

  • Cry_Egirls_Cry

    10. Just hate hearing about the sex life of any heterosexual.

    9. DJ is the next TO when it comes to an overrated me, me, me a$$hole.

    8. “Horse-like feature”? You shouldn’t be looking down at the guy at the next urinal.

    7. JJ has three(3) SB rings in 20 years…. It’s a championship thing. You wouldn’t understand.

    6. When you haven’t accomplished a damn thing in THE HISTORY OF YOUR FRANCHISE, you are not desrvong of anyone’s praise.

    5. The smile means, “At least I’m not Andy Reid and have to work for that shithole franchise, in that shithole city, listening to shithead fans whose intellect limits them to using f***ing cartoon characters for insults.”

    4. Egirls fans talking about bandwagoners? Really?

    3. “I hate when the other guy completely shuts down our star receiver” {{{{{{{sob}}}}}}}

    2. What? Still having nightmares of the 90′s?

    1. YEAH!!!! Who the hell builds a stadium that doesn’t have it’s own jail?

  • bula

    first of all, what does fighting a coboys fan have anything to do with fighting someone from texas? second of all, my buddy lives in texas and i could whoop his ass. third, i always heard that they were nicknamed america’s team because of some tv contract that put them on every sunday all over the country in the 70′s. they were the only game on, hence america’s team. being the only game in town would explain the large fansbases at opposing stadiums.

  • http://www.dallascowboys.com Wade Phillips

    Hello y’all,

    I am the coach of the Dallas Cowboys and I do look like Cartman, so


    Of course your quarterback looks like Chef.

    Isn’t he dead or a member of some pedofile vacation group??

  • T.E.X.A.S

    Fans from other teams come to every blog get over it. I would rather have Austin over Jackson due to the fact he makes more since when he talks trash.

  • T.E.X.A.S

    Also it was dead over here before we showed up.

  • KD

    Lol got that shit TEXAS. We brought this shit alive! unfortunately we ought to close it down because I’m starting to like some of these guys over here. And, going to the first post, I do like Jaws, dunno how I forgot about him.. still not a hall of famer though.

    I like Eagles and Eagles fans more than that Eli prick, who owns the worst career passer rating in the nfc east… lol… mouth breaking sack of shit.

  • Some Guy

    11. Lost playoff game 34-14.

  • http://MikeJenkins21.com Mike Jenkins

    Hahahaha, the E-Gals got raped…They are the modern day Buffalo Bills. All those winning playoff games and no ring to show for it. I would NOT tell anyone that I was a fan of a loser like that. I guess now DeSean can go get off on his really small lil buddy. What chumps. Im just glad that we didnt have to travel to smell that dirty, infested Philadelphia air that is breeding all the retardation in that region. Im sure that eventually they will find a cure for Neanderthalism that exist in Eastern Pennsylvania (fagetaboudit).

  • Joe Pagliatano

    Hey is that true, I mean about the retardation? Most of my friends and colleagues are from Philly and they too seem like they have an IQ of a Jackass. Everything about Philly seems a little off to me. I mean the girls are ugly, the guys are extremely dumb and the public officials are baboons. Is there a way to nuke this city and then we can continue to use it for public waste or storage, just as it is right now. Ive never seen more morons in my life. They probably were experiments that went bad and they needed a place to do the testing. If anyone to offense, Im sorry. The truth hurts. Maybe someone can read these letters to you, since Im sure most of you cannot read. J-A-C-M-E-O-F . U H-A-S-H-O-L

  • Megadeth Lvr

    Dont worry fans, if you need a lift after that rectal assault, Coach Reid Sons are selling nickel bags of nose candy for temporary relief. DeSean wants to thank all his fans who have lil buddies….which is most of yous…hahahaha. Philly is the same old Philly Bunch of grown a$$ kids who are actually old enough to know better. I guess since most of you were abused as kids, it feels really normal. Im a Steeler fan and we own Pennsylvania (East, Western, Northern, South)..dont matter.If any of you looser want to win some championships, come over to the Black n Gold. Maybe we’ll let you feel the rings…for you smart dumb asses who have issues with this, .the one on the other hand(the thumb for you slower people) would fit nice up you a$$ if you have a problem with this. Bunch of wanna be Punks….You should have all been aborted!