This will be the death of me.

Some Amazing Facts Emerge About the Eagles' Putrid Four Weeks

I’ve been AWOL for the past three weeks for personal reasons. I had only planned on missing one week but during that week something happened….

I ended up with extra time to watch the Eagles on my big 56″ inch HDTV.

This is the first year I’ve ever had DirecTV’s NFL Sunday Ticket. Like millions of other subscribers, I made the switch when they announced free Sunday Ticket for new subscribers. That’s given me the opportunity to really study the Eagles games up close and personal on my big-ass TV as opposed to my tiny 24″ monitor. So I decided to hold off on writing some articles and spend more time watching the games over and over again, while also watching other games from around the league in order to formulate some fact-based conclusions. I love fact-based conclusions because they often are the only form of sanity in an otherwise insane world.

Don’t think this world is insane? Get this….

Collectively, the Eagles are playing the statistically worst football of the Andy Reid era on both sides of the ball. Not in all categories of course, but overall, this is the worst year ever in his tenure. And yet, the Eagles have one of the highest payrolls in the league with multiple rich free agent signings in their back pocket. It’s as if the entire Eagles organization took one giant sugar cube of LSD and have completely gone insane. How does more talent directly equal less wins?

So in search of facts I went. As Warner Wolf used to say “Let’s go to the video tape.”

Here’s what I’ve discovered in the past four games about the offense. (Tomorrow I’ll discuss the defense.)

1. The Eagles offensive line averages about 1.2 missed assignments per down. (Obviously, I’m not in the huddle and don’t know what their official assignment is, but having played offensive and defensive line, I can generally work with about 95% accuracy based on past history in this offense, the west coast in general, and defensive fronts).

2. The average passing play takes 5.6 seconds before Michael Vick releases the ball.

3. DeSean Jackson takes a lot of plays off during the game. Ranging between 12-18 plays over the last four weeks.

4. Jeremy Maclin takes about 2-5 plays off per game, by way of comparison.

5. Every single Eagles ball carrier who touches the ball (RB, WR, TE, etc…) fails to carry the ball with the “four points of contact” technique that ensures ball security, at least three times per game, with the exception of Brent Celek. I’ve only seen him do it twice this season, and both of those times it was because he was fighting for extra yardage using a stiff arm.

6. There are on average 12-16 plays where it seems the Eagles have confusion or are late getting the play in each game.

7. Andy Reid has stated that he takes full responsibility for the Eagles’ struggles in some way 46 times in the last four weeks at press conferences.

8. The word “better” has been uttered in his gameday loss press conference 61 times.

9. “Better” has been uttered 221 times in the day after press conferences.

10. Mike Vick has been able to outrun every opposing linebacker he’s faced. Not one has caught him from behind this season, but Novorro Bowman did trip him up in a dead heat.

11. Marty Morningwheg is rarely shown on camera. The cameras almost always show Andy, not Marty. Howard Mudd has been shown 6 times as much as Marty.

What does all this mean?

In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t mean anything. The Eagles are 1-4, and nobody inside that organization seems to have a clue as to how to fix it.  Everything that can be said about what should be done, needs to be done, etc. has been said.  Not going to beat the proverbial dead horse.

Here’s an idea…

Maybe somebody should slip the Eagles some thorazine to counter act the LSD and get them out of this dream-like state they seem to be living it.

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