There’s little doubt that fans in this city would love to see a new era of Eagles football ushered in with a new look, too. Well, sort of. Local Twitter all-star @Cranekicker teamed up with ZooWithRoy–the most ridiculous sports “bolg” in Philadelphia–to get the process going.
Cranekicker, who would prefer not to be identified by his real name, makes some hilarious if not completely logical arguments for bringing back the retro threads. Here’s the opening of his, um, proposal:
Hi! My name is CK and I am a local Twitter celebrity and ZWR contributing artist. I am also a lifelong Eagles fan that has hated the midnight green uniforms since their inception in 1996. I’ve heard from sources that the main player in the decision to ditch the sweet sweet kelly greens in favor of the pine tree look was your now ex-wife, Kristina. I get it man, happy wife = happy life. But guess what? She’s not your wife anymore. AND you just hired a coach whose last name happens to be Kelly, so let’s party. Really that last part doesn’t matter at all… I could care less if the coaches name is Dick Slippers, this is about the uniforms that we all love and cherish well except for like you and the ex-misses and probably Dave Spadaro because he likes whatever you like and also Andy Reid because he would’ve looked like a huge Green Lantern but he’s gone now let’s focus.
You can sign the petition here.