NFC Feast: The Philadelphia Eagles imagined as a Thanksgiving meal
By Bruce Ewing
Six NFL teams will play football on Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, the Philadelphia Eagles won’t be one of them. We have to wait until Sunday night when the Green Bay Packers come to town. Hopefully, the Birds will enjoy some time off. A weird thought crossed our minds, however. What if we drew a holiday parallel?
What if we prepared our own Thanksgiving Day shindig and invited the Birds over? What might that look like?
So, because we’re creative (or have too much time on our hands), we reimagined one of our favorite holidays and our favorite team. Set the table. Keep your elbows off it, and remember the bread plate should be set to your left, like Jordan Mailata.
Here are the Philadelphia Eagles reenvisioned as a Thanksgiving meal.
Jalen Hurts: Turkey
Turkey gets all the attention, deservedly so. Take the turkey away from the meal, and it’s not Thanksgiving. Take Jalen Hurts away from the offense and you’re left with ‘Minshew Mania’. That might be hard for some to digest.
Turkey is the bird of choice for American homes. According to the National Turkey Federation, roughly 46 million turkeys are eaten in America each Thanksgiving.
Most historians agree that geese and duck were more likely consumed on the first Thanksgiving. Turkey arrived much later, like a backup that proved to be better. Does that make Carson Wentz a goose or a duck?
Jason Kelce and Lane Johnson: Mashed potatoes
They’re big, messy, and usually covered with gravy. So are the mashed potatoes. It’s hard to imagine a Thanksgiving feast without mashed potatoes; they’ve become a holiday staple. Jason Kelce and Lane Johnson have combined for 20 years together on the offensive line which has been a staple of the team’s success.
Fletcher Cox and Brandon Graham: Your elderly relatives
You love them. They’ve done so much for you over the years. You need to be nice to them because there’s a good chance they won’t be there next year.
A.J. Brown: Stuffing
Stuffing is pretty simple. It’s basically bread. A.J. Brown doesn’t always need a lot of targets to stuff the stat sheet. Guys like Chris Olave and Mike Evans get more looks but Brown gets more touchdowns.
With the exception of the Washington game, passing can feel like a side dish in the Eagles’ run-heavy offense. Only four teams throw less than Philadelphia, but when they need to spice things up, Brown comes through time after thyme.
Jordan Davis and Cam Jurgens: The kiddie table
Philadelphia Eagles rookies Jordan Davis and Cam Jurgens are some big guys. Davis is six-foot-six and 340 pounds. Jurgens is six-foot-three and 303 pounds. These rookies may be too big for a little card table but they still need to earn their spot among the grown-ups.
Hopefully, the adults understand the dietary needs of an NFL lineman. If these kids want seconds, bring them thirds.
Kenneth Gainwell and Boston Scott: Pumpkin Pie
You know the meal is over when they bring out the pumpkin pie. You know the game is in hand when Gainwell or Scott are getting carries in the fourth quarter. It’s time to put your feet up and relax.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy your meal, the games, and everything in between.