Ealges Name Mike Vick Starter For Life, Call Really Important Team Meeting

Have no fear, gang. Mike Vick is still the QB. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

As the Eagles limp into Week 9 of what has been a draining season so far, it was finally decided that all the players should get together and have a team meeting.

There were numerous things at issue: who’s been leaving their jock strap on Brent Celek’s locker, Alex Henery’s strange habit of flossing in front of everybody, and Demetress Bell’s annoying insistence of blaring Lady Antebellum after every loss, just to name a few.

Oh, and maybe the team’s raging QB controversy and three-game losing streak also came up.

Cool, that’ll fix everything.

Embattled quarterback Mike Vick apparently called the meeting after Andy Reid’s Thursday press conference in which he proclaimed Vick the starter of the Philadelphia Eagles until either he dies, or Vick does, whichever comes first.

“Michael will continue to be the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles.”

I mean, if that’s not a lifetime guarantee, I don’t know what is.

Reid said he never really considered pulling the starting gig away from Vick, explaining the delay in his comments on Sunday and his affirmation of Vick today thusly…

“My point wasn’t that I was going to bench Michael Vick, it was that I needed to step back and evaluate before I came to you.”

So, does that mean Vick is the starter for the rest of the season, Andy?

“Michael’s the starting quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles,” Reid answered.

Andy Reid’s mustache seems fluffier. Mandatory Credit: Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE

His support is stronger than oak.

Vick, for his part, seem buoyed by Reid’s strong endorsement, telling the Philadelphia Daily News Thursday…

“The most important thing is I just got to let it go,” Vick said. “I got to get my swag back, I got to get back to playing the way I love to play it and not worry about what’s going to happen because that’s out of my control.”

When asked about the speculation of the last few days, Vick said…

“I’m human. It does tend to bother you because I have emotions just like everybody else. It’s not like you can just block certain things out. You want to have that comfort level. You want to know that everything is going to be what it’s going to be at the end of the day. I kind of let it get to me, to be honest.”

So, one wonders how a team meeting, led by Vick, who Reid also called the “leader of the team” today, will affect their play on Monday night in New Orleans. My assumption is that major things were discussed. You know, really big, game-changing things…

“We just needed to come together after that loss (to Atlanta on Sunday) and hash it out,” defensive tackle Mike Patterson said of the meeting. Tight end Brent Celek said the team needed to make drastic changes and that those changes needed to be seen on the field…

“I think things just need to get cleared up. Nothing major; I’m not going to really get into specifics about what we talked about, but quite a few things needed to get cleared up, and it happened, and it was good for our team.”

Good. Specifics are for the weak-minded who possess no imagination.

So with this team meeting now officially a thing, and Michael Vick ensconced as the Eagles’ starting quarterback until the aliens come to kill us all, anything less than a five-game winning streak is going to be pretty much unacceptable.

And seriously guys, WHO IS LEAVING THEIR JOCK STRAPS ON BRENT CELEK’S LOCKER???