Philadelphia Eagles players and their Pokémon counterparts

What are star Philadelphia Eagles players’ Pokémon counterparts?

Pokémon GO is taking the nation by storm. If you have any form of social media, you more than likely know the impact the mobile game is having on people across the world. Before we know it, Pokémon GO could be more popular than the Snapchat app and it’s all happened in about two week’s time, which is both scary and incredible at the same time.

Considering the massive comeback Pokémon has made, it’s only natural to absorb it into the world of the Philadelphia Eagles. What Pokémon would your favorite Eagles player be?

Carson Wentz: Dragonite

"Dragonite is capable of circling the globe in just 16 hours. It is a kindhearted Pokémon that leads lost and foundering ships in a storm to the safety of land."

Carson Wentz is a human Dragonite. Not only does he kind of look like Dragonite, but he’s a lovable guy who gets locked in gas station bathrooms for no apparent reason. He’s from North Dakota, where human lifeforms are hard to come by, so obviously he’s nice to other people when they present themselves (which is very rare in North Dakota).

Dragonite “leads lost and foundering ships in a storm to the safety of the land,” which is exactly what Wentz has the capability to do for the Eagles. Right now, the Eagles are a lost ship, but Wentz has the potential to lead them in the right direction as their quarterback of the future. Whether or not that actually happens remains to be seen, but he has the capability to be as heroic to the Eagles as Dragonite is in the Pokémon universe.

Connor Barwin: Machoke

"Machoke’s thoroughly toned muscles possess the hardness of steel. This Pokémon has so much strength, it can easily hold aloft a sumo wrestler on just one finger."

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I don’t doubt that Connor Barwin could hold a sumo wrestler on his finger. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he could hold the planet Earth on his finger. The man is jacked and could probably kill anyone in one punch.

On the field, Barwin plays like a Machoke would. He’s strong and his attacks are highly effective. Unfortunately, Barwin’s days in Philadelphia may be numbered after the scheme change Jim Schwartz brought to the Eagles. With such a high cap hit, Barwin may be let go at the end of the 2016 season. But for right now, the Eagles have a Machoke on their team, which is pretty awesome.

Marcus Smith: Magikarp

"Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only capable of flopping and splashing. This behavior prompted scientists to undertake research into it."

Marcus Smith may be even more useless than Magikarp. When he’s on the field, he pretty much flops around and does nothing. He has no purpose.

Fletcher Cox: Snorlax

"Snorlax’s typical day consists of nothing more than eating and sleeping. It is such a docile Pokémon that there are children who use its expansive belly as a place to play."

While I’m not sure how much Fletcher Cox sleeps on a daily basis, I do feel like he eats a lot, making Snorlax a match made in Heaven.

Like Snorlax, Cox is an immovable force on the field. He is one of the NFL’s most disruptive defensive linemen and his sheer size and strength make it nearly impossible for anyone to block him one-on-one.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if he let kids bounce up and down on his enormous belly for fun.

Malcolm Jenkins: Ho-Oh

"Ho-Oh’s feathers glow in seven colors depending on the angle at which they are struck by light. These feathers are said to bring happiness to the bearers. This Pokémon is said to live at the foot of a rainbow."

Ho-Oh is one of the rarest known Pokémon. Like Ho-Oh, an above average safety was nearly impossible for the Eagles.

Luckily, they found Malcolm Jenkins.

Since joining the Eagles, Jenkins has been everything the team could have dreamed of. And more. Since the departure of Brian Dawkins, the Eagles were a lost cause, but Jenkins has given the Eagles hope again.

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