Alright. Alright. Alright. It appears that Jeff Bezos still wants to buy the Washington Commanders as part of a group that includes Matthew McConaughey and Jay-Z. That’s fine, they can have them. The Philadelphia Eagles aren’t for sale, and that’s just fine with all of us. We’re happy with Jeffrey Lurie, but what if the boss did put them up for sell? What might that look like?
Bezos is the founder, executive chairman, and former president and CEO of Amazon. He’s worth a reported $116.4 billion, and if he were to achieve his goal of buying the Commanders, he would surpass David Tepper as the NFL’s wealthiest owner. Here’s why that’s relevant.
Having a slight break from football means the imagination is wandering for many of us. We really thought about this recently. What if the Birds were bought? Could they put together an ownership group with enough swag to compete with those names we keep hearing in Washington?
Absolutely, they can.
Here’s a theory of what a celebrity dream team might look like if the world ended and Jeffrey Lurie sold the Philadelphia Eagles.
How could the Philadelphia Eagles keep pace with a rival ownership group full of A-listers? It wouldn’t be difficult. There’s more than enough money and talent in the city to raise Philly’s cool factor if needed.
Forget Jeff Bezos! Again, he owns Amazon, and watching football on Amazon Prime is a real pain. There, we said it. Al Michaels doesn’t even look like he’s enjoying himself.
Comcast/NBCUniversal is a much better product. They’re based in Philadelphia and owned by Brian Roberts, a native Philadelphian. Comcast also owns the Flyers, so he has plenty of experience with owning a sports team.
Doggone it! We’re adding his name to our imaginary mix.
More importantly, after the Eagles win the Super Bowl again (hopefully, that’s soon), Jalen Hurts can mix it up by looking into the camera and saying, “I’m going to Universal Studios!” It’s called synergy. Corporations love that stuff.
Who needs McConaughey? Let him stay in D.C.! Why does a native Texan want a Washington team anyway?
Philly has Bradley Cooper. He’s a better actor than McConaughey and starred in Silver Linings Playbook, a movie about Philadelphia Eagles fans. He was just seen in Jeff Lurie in the owner’s box during Super Bowl LVII, obviously doing research for his next role.
Jay-Z is tough to beat. He owns pop culture. Being married to Beyonce doesn’t hurt either. Not too long ago, Will Smith would have been a logical choice for an Eagles ownership board, but now he’s a risk for illegal use of hands. Why not Meek Mill? He’s a rapper from Philly. His Dreams and Nightmares song even became the anthem for the Eagles’ 2017 Super Bowl-winning run.
Rest assured, the Philadelphia Eagles are not for sale. But if Dan Snyder sells the team to the Bezos bunch, Philadelphia has enough star power to keep pace if that ever becomes a discussion point.