Matchups and predictions for a pair of Eagles rivals in Week 8 of the 2023 NFL season

  • The Eagles are still on top of the NFC East.
  • The Cowboys are perfect according to themselves.
  • The Commanders can't do anything right.
  • The Giants are in Tyrod Taylor season.
Tyrod Taylor, Xavier McKinney, Darius Slayton, Saquon Barkley, New York Giants
Tyrod Taylor, Xavier McKinney, Darius Slayton, Saquon Barkley, New York Giants / Lauren Leigh Bacho/GettyImages
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Giants offense vs. Jets defense

The Jets' defense is coming off of both a win and a bye. They’re feeling themselves right now, and to be fair, they deserve it. Now they get a Giants team that would go into an anaphylactic shock if they scored more than three touchdowns. They’re a team that’s allergic to having a moderately functional offense.

Tyrod Taylor SHOULD get the start at quarterback this week. As a matter of fact, he should probably be the starter until he loses by more than one score. The thing that makes him more likable than Daniel Jones is that Taylor wears a visor. When Jones does something dumb, you can see it in his eyes and he looks sad. When Taylor does something dumb, you can’t see how he feels. 

Maybe that’s something. Maybe if Daniel Jones wears a visor, he’ll go from ‘bad’ to ‘below average’. It couldn’t hurt to try.

The only success that the Giants have had with moving the ball is through running back Saquon Barkley, but not in the rushing game. He’s been averaging 3.8 yards per carry, but when he’s thrown the ball he’s hitting 5.4 yards per catch.

It’s not great, but at least it’s something. Typically you’d want your $10 million running back to… you know… be good, but hey. To each their own.

The Jets’ defense should be able to cruise through this game. Cornerbacks Sauce Gardner and D.J. Reed have been practicing fully this week, so it’s probably safe to assume that they’ll both clear their concussion protocols. They’ll be a big help with shutting down any big or effective passing plays.

Rather than going through the strong points of the Jets’ defense, we’ll describe them in one word: Staunch.

Prediction: Jets -3

It’s another game that we don’t have to watch because the Eagles are playing at the same time, so that’s a win for us. These are two terrible offenses, but one of them has to play against a top-5 defense in the NFL. The Jets will walk away from this game with a disgusting win. There might be three total touchdowns in this game. Slap a Mr. Yuk sticker on this one and forget about it. 

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