NFC East matchups, predictions for Week 1 of the 2023 NFL season

Dallas Cowboys versus New York Giants

Of course the NFL is going to throw this in our faces for the Sunday night game in Week 1. We’re going to be high off of the first Eagles game, and then an hour later, we’re going to have 800 pounds of head coach filling up the TV screen with the Cowboys’ Mike McCarthy and the Giants’ Brian Daboll. It’ll be a fun game to hate-watch.

Cowboys Offense

They’re a sideshow, that Dallas Cowboys offense. Remember a couple of years ago, when Amari Cooper played well and then the Cowboys traded him to the Browns for a broken shoelace, a coffee mug, a half-eaten Snickers bar, and $30 in Monopoly money? That was wild.

Remember how they had an offensive coordinator in Kellen Moore, who ran a productive offense? Welp, he’s gone now and the new offensive coordinator is Brian Schottenheimer.

The hiring/promotion of Schottenheimer is entirely laughable and that’s because Mike McCarthy went out and essentially said that he wanted the Cowboys to run the ball, not score points, and let the defense win games, which is also entirely laughable.

There isn't much that has changed for the Cowboys' offense other than that. They got wide receiver Brandin Cooks in the offseason, but that’s a juice-less acquisition. Tony Pollard is their RB1 this year, which should be interesting given he was only good because he wasn’t a workhorse. That kept him fresh. Also, the last time we saw Pollard, his leg was broken into itty bitty pieces.

Dak Prescott said he wasn’t going to throw ten interceptions this year, which was a weird thing to say. We know what you are thinking. ‘Why would the guy who led the NFL in interceptions last year put that kind of expectation on himself?’ The answer is a simple one. It's because he’s a loser.

Giants Offense

The Giants' offense hasn’t changed a whole lot from last season either. Quarterback Daniel Jones got paid too much money. Big Blue grabbed tight end Darren Waller from the Raiders. Waller has been good when he’s healthy, but we haven’t seen him be healthy in almost three years. 

The Giants are boring. They’re hoping that Brian Daboll can turn Daniel Jones into a top-tier QB. If that sounds dumb, it's because it is. A thing that helps quarterbacks is giving them weapons. They gave Daniel Jones a 30-year-old perpetually unhealthy tight end. Yawn. This team is going to struggle to score points.

Cowboys Defense

The Cowboys' defense is going to continue to be on the border between good and great. They still have their defensive coordinator, Dan Quinn. He’s good at his job, and there’s no denying that.

The biggest change they made in the offseason was acquiring cornerback Stephon Gilmore. He has had a good career. He has a chance to be a Hall of Famer at some point, but he’s 32 years old now. Dallas is really high on him, but age will catch up with him eventually. The question is this. How many years does he have left? 

As was the case with every other team in the NFC East, the Cowboys drafted a guy in order to compete with the Eagles. They added defensive tackle Mazi Smith in the first round this year. That was probably because the Birds ran all over them last year and they didn’t want it to happen again.

Rookie defensive tackles normally don’t stand out very much, so once again, it’s another acquisition that doesn’t move the needle.

Giants Defense

The Giants’ defense is going to take a step forward this year. Second-year edge rusher Kayvon Thibodeaux is going to be a menace to society. He’s going to end up being the guy that the Commanders wish Chase Young would’ve become, which is funny, sad, and scary. 

The Giants also added the aforementioned linebacker Isaiah Simmons from the Cardinals. He’s one of those guys who can play everywhere. He’s shown that he can be good and that he could potentially be a game-wrecker. He has also shown that he’s pretty inconsistent. Watch him long enough, and you will see chinks in his armor.

Prediction

New York wins by 3.5 points. Big Blue's defense should be able to keep a 1980s-style offense at bay. Their O should be able to move the ball downfield consistently with a currently healthy Darren Waller as a leading pass-catcher and Saquon Barkley continuing to do Saquon Barkley things. Also, Daboll is a better coach than McCarthy, so that helps. Cue a Giants victory in prime time.

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