How's it going guys and gals? Has that 2024 calendar year turned around yet? We recognize it could have gotten off to a better start. Those doggone Philadelphia Eagles! They're like an unreliable ex. They get your hopes up just to let you down again. We aren't going to let them stress us out again though! Not this time.
We don't know about you, but we've been passing the time watching stuff like the Grammys and reality television. We needed a break from football. Heck, we may not even watch the Super Bowl, but we can't seem to catch a break.
We were minding our own business, and then Brad Pitt had to playfully throw some shade at his good friend Bradley Cooper. Just when we thought we had found a getaway, Mr. Pitt had to do this.
That wasn't much, but to Birds fans, that may as well be NSFW content. Then again, forget that. We will not take the disrespect sitting down. It's time we end this. Besides, what did we ever do to Brad Pitt?
Attention Eagles fans... Don't let Brad Pitt put a damper on your weekend.
Do you see it now? This is why you can never let 'fandom' drift over into fanaticism. We get it. Truly we do. We all love the Philadelphia Eagles, but when you begin attaching your emotional and mental health to the results of your favorite team's season, you'll wind up being let down more often than you find the happy ending. No one knows that more than the Philly sports fan.
We've been here Mr. Pitt! This is what we do!
You've been watching the Birds, 76ers, Phillies, and Flyers your entire life. You know the drill. Misery is sometimes a part of the deal, so if Jason Kelce isn't stressed out, why are you? If the players on the team have moved on, why haven't we? No more!
We will not be moved from our places of peace by the subtle jabs of one Brad Pitt! That is where we'll end this.
Nice try boss man, but we reject the attempt. Try it on another franchise. We're all ready for pitchers and catchers to report to spring training anyway, especially seeing as how Joel Embiid is already injured again.
By the way... Your last three movies sucked Mr. Pitt. Bullet Train? Really?