Philadelphia Eagles’ Naughty Or Nice List For The 2015 Season


He’s making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who’s naughty or nice, Jeffrey Lurie’s coming to town.

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”

False. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is by winning football games, which is something the Philadelphia Eagles haven’t been very good at this season. As Santa Claus circles the globe on Christmas Eve night, let’s take a look at who’s been naughty and who’s been nice for the Birds this season.

DeMarco Murray: Naughty

Not much of a surprise here. The Eagles signed Murray to a five-year, $42 million contract in the offseason and, to be quite frank, Murray has been repugnant. In 13 games this season, Murray has only 606 yards on 176 carries with a pathetic average of 3.4 yards per carry. If that’s not bad enough, Murray’s behavior off the field hasn’t done much to warrant a spot on Santa’s nice list either. Since having a massive decrease in snaps, Murray has been nothing but a distraction for the Eagles. Whether he’s bugging Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie about getting more playing time or having a meltdown because he’s not getting enough touches, Murray has worn his welcome in Philadelphia and will more than likely find a gigantic lump of coal in his stocking this year.

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Fletcher Cox: Nice!

If there’s one player who has been a the lifeblood of the Eagles this season, it’s Cox. He’s finally been recognized as one of the NFL’s best defensive players and has been elected to his first Pro Bowl (even though he probably should have gone last season as well). Cox has set a career high with 7.5 sacks this season and has become, quite possibly, the league’s most disruptive 3-4 defensive end not named J.J. Watt. To me, that’s pretty deserving of a spot on the nice list.

Miles Austin: Naughty

This guy technically isn’t on the team anymore, but when he was, he was so bad that Christmas gifts should be totally off limits for him until he decides to hang up the cleats for good. Miles Austin was a nightmare for the Eagles. Before finally getting cut, Austin recorded a measly 13 receptions for 224 yards in 11 games, despite getting a surprisingly high amount of snaps. And let’s not forget about his nauseatingly bad performance against the Miami Dolphins in Week 10 when he failed to bring in an easy fourth quarter touchdown catch and essentially allowed Reshad Jones to pick off Mark Sanchez in the end zone on a drive that could have given the Eagles the lead.

Thanks, Miles. Enjoy your Shake Weights, because that’s all you’re getting for Christmas this year.

Jordan Hicks: Nice!

How about this kid, eh? Hicks was a complete revelation for the Eagles as a rookie before a torn pec ended his season against the Dallas Cowboys. In eight games and five starts, Hicks compiled a team-leading 50 tackles, a sack (which knocked out Tony Romo for a huge portion of the season), and two interceptions, one of which was a 67-yard pick six. Not too shabby. I’d say that’s a pretty impressive way to start off your career.

Chip Kelly: Naughty

How can Chip Kelly not be on the naughty list? Yes, he was able to help the Eagles beat Tom Brady for the first time since he was drafted in 2000, but he also took a team that was, for the most part, pretty decent, and completely turned it upside down in the offseason to make it a pretty bad one (even though they are still in contention to win the NFC East). Anyone who trades LeSean McCoy for Kiko Alonso should get nothing but socks for Christmas…

Actually, no. He doesn’t even deserve socks, because those can actually be useful. He deserves nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Happy holidays.