Eagles take their rivalry with 49ers to an impressive new level

Sometimes, the biggest news of the year hits when you least expect it. Whether it's a Holiday Friday news dump, or just a random Adam Schefter tweet at, like, 7AM on a Tuesday, sometimes the most impactful stories are the ones that no one sees coming.

So with that in mind, it shouldn't be surprising that *the* news story of the Eagles' summer quietly dropped this week. On Thursday afternoon, Schefter tweeted out a ground-breaking report that detailed the new job title for Dom DiSandro. You of course remember DiSandro as the guy that got into a fight with half of the 49ers roster that one time. Now he's got a bunch of fancy titles:

I'm extremely curious what "senior advisor to the general manager" actually means. Will that get in the way of his duties as Chief Security Officer? Will he get three different pensions for the three different positions? How are the benefits and 401k employer match? Does the paid time off policy include any potential suspensions for trying to fight a bunch of football players?

This is his 25th season with the Eagles, so I imagine he's already tenured. But now that he's got 3 Very Serious job titles, let's see the NFL try and keep him off the sidelines. Big Dom always stays a step ahead.